I’ve been pondering an idea quite a bit recently, and last night as I watched a video where I heard the late Tony Campolo address the very thing I’ve been contemplating. In a sermon (and from what I’ve gathered at many other times) Tony stated: “I have three things I’d like to say today. First, while you were sleeping last night, 30,000 kids died of starvation or diseases related to malnutrition. Second, most of you don’t give a shit. What’s worse is that you’re more upset with the fact that I said shit than the fact that 30,000 kids died last night.”
Apathy at best. Hatred perhaps. Cruelty – malice, inhumanity, savagry – along with the hatred at worst.
Those are the first explanations that came to mind for people being this way. Even some I know and care about have to be included. Too many people ignore those in their world, their country, their state, their county, or their hometown who are suffering. OUR world…. Some even turning their eyes away from family. Why? Are there really that many uncaring, callous people?
I’m sure, because we’ve all seen the evidence, that there are evil people in the world who couldn’t care less about the suffering of others as long as things work for them. Who have the “let them eat cake” attitude that was attributed to Marie Antoinette. People throughout history have committed atrocities without concern and perhaps even for some perverse enjoyment. Hitler. Bashar al-Assad. Saloth “Pol Pot” Sar. Muammar Gaddafi. Mao Zedong. Fidel Castro. Saddam Hussein. Robert Mugabe. Vladmir Putin. Some drug lords, mafia dons, serial killers. I’m sure that the reason we can name them means people who are so evil are few and far between.
And there certainly those content going through their easy, neat lives. They are callous and really only care about themselves. “These homeless people need to find somewhere else to be. It’s annoying to have to walk by them, see them there camped out on a public street. Why don’t they just get a job? They’re probably on drugs.” Or maybe they are asking, “Why should I care? It has nothing to do with me if some child is starving or going without medicines. We have our own problems right here. Besides, my child is fine.” While I think there are more of them than the first group, I still want to believe (maybe I’m naive) that they are far from the majority.
I think many people who aren’t doing something are overwhelmed and don’t feel they can make a difference. They wring their hands and voice concern. “Oh, those poor people who…” lost their homes in fire or hurricane…who are being slaughtered or having their lives destroyed in Ukraine or Gaza…don’t know where their next meal is coming from…were fired from their jobs in a massive action that had nothing to do with their ability to do the job. Someone should do something.” These people see themselves as caring and as empathic when they voice concern. But they do nothing. And without action, we fall short.
These folks will tell you they do what they can. They give money if they are able when a disaster occurs. Some pat themselves on the back for their generosity and concern, but six months later they have forgotten the tragedy and the people still suffering through it. The news cycle moved on to another major story and the original one is forgotten. I believe the vast majority of people are guilty of this at least some times. I have been.
I gave money when a hurricanes devastated New Orleans, Louisiana; Fort Myers Beach, Florida; and Puerto Rico. A little over a year after Fort Myers beach was practically wiped out by Hurricane Ian, I drove through Fort Myers. It was shocking and heart wrenching (2 of my pictures are below – and they just show a tiny portion). The debris lined up along the road, buildings leveled, businesses still shuttered, and the stories of people still homeless after the assurances they were given from FEMA and other government agencies was appalling. Late last summer (August 2024), I met a woman who finally had a house, but she and her husband still hadn’t been able to buy enough furniture to make it a comfortable home for their three young kids. Yet we don’t hear about any of that.
I believe that those of us wringing our hands and saying “someone should” are basically good people. They see the problems and then another comes to the forefront of the news cycle. The other is now out of sight so it must have been solved. Most of us are just overwhelmed by what we see and don’t know what action we can take. People feel powerless to do something as an individual without a ton of resources or influence.
Rev. Nadia Bolz-Weber wrote a blog post about just this kind of reaction. I felt her dilemna when I read her words. “And yet, when I check social media it feels like there are voices saying ‘if you aren’t talking about, doing something about, performatively posting about ___(fill in the blank)___then you are an irredeemably callous, priviledged, bigot who IS PART OF THE PROBLEM’ and when I am someone who does actually care about human suffering and injustice (someone who feels every picture I see, and story I read) it leaves me feeling like absolute shit. I am left with wondering: am I doing enough, sacrificing enough, giving enough, saying enough about all the horrible things right now to think of myself as a good person and subsequently silence the accusing voice in my head? No. The answer is always no. No I am not. Nor could I. Because no matter what I do the goal of “enough” is just as far as when I started.” (https://tinyurl.com/4jvbjp8y)
In the age of instant information, 24/7 “news” broadcasts aimed at ratings and profit over truth (tailoring their news to the audience they want to attract), and everything being fired at us at once it is so easy to become overwhelmed. Newspapers are becoming a thing of days gone by and have taken to online publication (either mostly or all together) because they can’t print fast enough for it to be news. And information that is coming so fast and furiously really needs to be read with a questioning mind. So much that screams for our attention is riddled with lies, propaganda, or information from countries or sources aiming to create mayhem. It is beyond hard to take in everything, sort it out, look at the sources, know what is true and then care. And we shut down.
Nadia Bolz-Weber comes to a point of asking, “What’s MINE to care about and what’s NOT mine to care about? To be clear – that is not to say that it is not worthy to be cared about by SOMEONE, only that my effectiveness in the world cannot extend to every worthy to be cared about event and situation. It’s not an issue of values, it’s an issue of MATH….I just do not think our psyches were developed to hold, feel and respond to everything coming at them right now; every tragedy, injustice, sorrow and natural disaster happening to every human across the entire planet, in real time every minute of every day. The human heart and spirit were developed to be able to hold, feel and respond to any tragedy, injustice, sorrow or natural disaster that was happening IN OUR VILLAGE.”
This is exactly why I have times when I will not watch the news at all. I don’t watch any 24/7 stations to begin with except when a major event is occuring and I just found out. I will turn on one of them for 10 minutes, get the overview, and then stop. Wait. And in a short while I will find out more about it from a news source not aimed at covering it over and over and over ad nauseam. This is also why I fast from news coverage every now and then. I turn off the television, log off of social media, and go find a novel. Sometimes people think this is me not caring when, in fact, it is evidence of me caring too much. I cannot see all of the pain and suffering, the cruelty inflicted on others – especially when it comes from the very people charged with taking care of our country – and not have it take my mental health to places I have paid good money to have someone help me out of! I feel the pain, the suffering, the desperation, the loss of hope. I can’t sleep. I send out a barrage of social media posts in an effort to get others to care. And I lose hope.
Maybe many of the people who seem to not care are, like me, feeling overwhelmed and not capable of tackling the problems the world is facing. Feeling helpless, feeling too small to make a difference or accomplish anything.
My faith demands that I do whatever I can, wherever I can, whenever I can, for as long as I can with whatever I have, to try to make a difference.” Jimmy Carter
In this climate people spout such hatred and ugliness (especially online with the anonymity and distance it provides), but when we are face to face with them just as individuals, they pull back from the stridency. Many influences will have us see the world as “us” vs “them.” But when we work beside someone or sit at a Thanksgiving dinner table with them, it’s hard to reconcile the person who helped you out of a bind or loved on you all of your life as the same person filled with so much hate. Some don’t seem capable of behaving as they did. In Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird a mob approaches Atticus with the intent of taking Tom Robinson out of the jail and killing him. They threaten Atticus and intend to plow past him. Upon seeing this mob, Atticus’s children come out from their hidden vantage point. Scout looks at and completely disarms the mob. She addresses Walter Cunningham by name. She asks him to “say hey” to his son who is in her class and tells him that his son is a nice boy. She asks about his “entailment” thereby reminding him of what Atticus has done for him. When recognized he is not part of a faceless mob. He is an individual, part of the community, and responsible for his words and actions. We need to look at ourselves in a mirror or become accountable to someone – maybe God – for our individual words and actions.
And so I listen to the advice Tony Campolo gave about caring and taking action. I listen specifically to the advice Nadia Bolz-Weber gave in the blog post which I go back and read whenever I need to be reminded. As a popular novel title said, there are “little fires everywhere” but today there are huge fires everywhere. I cannot fight every one of them. So paraphrasing the blog post, I have to try and tell myself that it’s ok to focus on one fire. It’s ok to do what is MINE to do. Say what’s mine to say. Care about what’s mine to care about. That’s enough. When I feel that I can no longer look at the evils, the heartbreak, and the cruelty of the whole world, I unplug from it all temporarily. Then I return and I find my fire to put out. If I do this, I can know that I’m being true to my heart and doing what is within my power to do. I wish I could do more. But at least I’m doing something.
My pastors use a different metaphor than fire. They use water. There are oceans of problems that have to be solved. But Pastor Katherine and Pastor Emily often talk about finding our puddle when the world and its needs are an overwhelming ocean. I get lost in oceans sometimes, but I can focus and do something when I have found my puddle.
My concern for that puddle rose many years ago. I am broken hearted to think that people are hungry when there is food enough for all. It has long been an issue that is mine to care about. I’m not rich, but I have plenty. I have always known where my next meal is coming from and that I’ll have a roof over my head. I work at the edges of oceans by giving what I can to the charities I know doing good work. Their combined efforts can make a bigger difference than any one person can. I support World Central Kitchen that makes sure people suffering in an emergency due to natural disasters like hurricanes, floods, earthquakes, and fires as well as people suffering through man-made disasters in places like Ukraine and Gaza have hot food, life-sustaining meals and a purpose. They do so by using local people and local supplies to help out beyond just the meals served. I also donate to Feeding America and No Kid Hungry. These organizations work with local food banks to deliver food all over the U.S.
When there is a disaster somewhere I find a LOCAL charity in that area like a food pantry that is already up and running. They will know the people and their needs, the area, and be most equipped to help immediately. And I know I’m not being taken in by some sham.
And I do something locally that I know is making a difference. I know it because I see the faces and know their names, I know their children and their grandparents. They smile and we talk together. I do this by volunteering my time every week and my talents (and my money when I can) to New Hope Ministries, a local food pantry. I promote their mission and try to get others involved. This is my puddle. It isn’t that I don’t care about other issues, I do. But it’s like the starfish story where a man tells a child throwing starfish back into the ocean that “you can’t make a difference for all of them.” The child replies that he made a difference for that one as he continues throwing them into the ocean. I can’t feed the hungry everywhere, but I can assist in feeding people locally.
Instead of shaking our heads and saying, “What’s a shame. Someone should do something.” We need to remember that we are someone and we can do, not everything, but at least something. There are so many ways within our communities to show that there are people in the world who care, who see suffering and want to help others. Look for a way to do that. Harry Chapin used to ask what if people kept up the efforts shown at Thanksgiving throughout the year. “I wonder what would happen to this world.”
Share and pray whenever you see something about people suffering. But beyond that, it may not be yours to handle. However, you may be helping someone else find their puddle. We can stop and pray for oceans of problems. But then we have to find what we can do, where we are, with what talents and time and money we have.
SOME TINY EXAMPLES MAKING A BIG DIFFERENCE TO INDIVIDUALS:
My church has a recurring event every Wednesday called Be Out Wednesday where they offer a time and a safe place for LGBTQ+ teens to just come and hang out, enjoy themselves with others, have a snack. You know, just be kids without fear.
Earlier today I was told of a knitting group that was given a big donation of yarn. Their policy is that, when they receive a gift like that, they then use the donation to do a charity project. They pay it forward.
Time donated to Meals on Wheels helps with food insecurity and eases lonliness. My Aunt LaVerne did that well into her eighties!
Give your time. To the local church that has a free meal for the community every week. To your library so that they can afford to keep the doors open and the shelves stocked – they offer so much beyond the books to the community whether in need, lonely, or just looking for something new.
The world is an ugly place right now. More people are in need. More natural disasters keep happening and growing harsher causing greater damage than ever before in places never before hit. People are under attack as bigotry, racisim, and prejudice are given license to act out by the powers in charge. It is time to put aside the hate-filled rhetoric we hear on tv and online, open our eyes and our hearts to what is happening to our fellow human beings, and do something. Find your puddle.
Share your puddle in the comments. Maybe you will spur someone else to help or to find their own place.
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CHECK OUT THE STUFF I MENTIONED:
Nadia Bolz-Weber. “If You Can’t Take It Anymore, There’s a Reason: An Essay on Circuit Breakers, Empty Buckets, and the Shame-show of Social Media. The Corners by Nadia Bolz-Weber. August 17, 2021. https://tinyurl.com/4jvbjp8y
Tony Campolo. “A Birthday Party for Prostitutes.” September 5, 2013. https://tinyurl.com/539548jv
Mayim Bialik. On information overload. https://www.facebook.com/reel/1321768342487171
A Word Aptly Spoken 
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